Not so FAQ for Greg's web pages

In an effort to set the record wrong about a few things, here is a collection of questions that have never been asked about this site. None of the information given here is true. Except for the stuff that isn't false. Your milage may vary. Keep right, except to pass.

Q: I don't see any graphics, where are they?
A: They ran away. If you see my graphics anywhere, tell them their supper has gotten all cold and eaten.
Q: I found a lump, what should I do?
A: Go to a doctor and get it checked out.
Q: What is lynx?
A: A highly dangerous feline. It could rip your face off if you tried to pet it.
Don't try to pet it.
Or your face might get ripped off.
Q: Wait a minute, there isn't anything at all about Java(tm), just idle promises that you'll say something bad.
A: Sorry, that wasn't in the form of a question. Don't make me send Alex Trabeck to kick your ass.
Q: Ok then, why aren't there any Java flames?
A: Couldn't be bothered, really.
Q: Can I send you email, telling you what I think of this place?
A: Yes, with one restriction: If it's a flame, try to come up with something slightly original. Something better than "Hey D00D, you site suckz." At the very least, spell it correctly.
Q: Does Lumpy Noodles really exist?
A: Nnn... yes. We are a special company that gives away money. To receive your share, you send your name, address and credit card number to my email address. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with your next credit card statement. Afterwards, you can check out the WTF is with this Lumpy crap? page.
Q: Has anyone actually asked these questions?
A: No
Q: Really?
A: No
Q: So, what should I do here?
A: I don't know... why did you come here in the first place?
Q: Hey, I'm supposed to be asking the questions!
A: I got bored.

When you get to the bottom you go back to the [TOP] of the slide.

What's with this lumpy crap?

By Greg Harvey
<Greg.Harvey@thezone.net>
My ICQ#: 60927702

Last modified Sun Nov 08,1998

Contains some annoyances for page harvesters >;^).