Newfoundland & Labrador
Tourist Information

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From an Earlier Time

In a more prosperous time, the inshore squid-jigging fleet (above) races out at dawn to catch all the fish they can carry. Squid was a primary food of a species of groundfish, now extinct, which was once abundant around Newfoundland's shores. This fish, called a Codfish, became extinct when the Japanese became too fond of eating squid, which caused all the Codfish to starve.

Top Secret Today, the only saltwater fishing off Newfoundland is done by foreign draggers, under top-secret arrangements between Canada's Department of Fisheries and Oceans, the Foreign Affairs Department, and several large Canadian fish processors which buy their catches. During your visit to Newfoundland, take care not to stand too close to the shore. Fisheries enforcement people are waiting to confiscate your vehicles, credit cards and female offspring if your actions indicate to them that you are even contemplating wetting a hook!

Flippered Fiends Newfoundland is a safe province for tourists. For example, there has not been a railroad accident for many years on the island. A previous government made certain of this, by considerately removing all traces of the once prosperous trans-island railway. There is, however, still some hazard from marauding seals. There are reports that they have been pursuing traffic on the Trans-Canada Highway. The remedy, if you are cornered by one of these vicious predators, is to tickle their flippers. The actual effectiveness of this is as yet unconfirmed, and you are requested to report all such incidents to the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary at the nearest Doughnut Shoppe. This seal problem will soon be dealt with. A party with very distant connections to the Provincial government has suggested a mass counter-attack, using silenced sub-machine guns and large scale area-wide blanketing with mustard gas. Negotiations are currently underway to draft the originating party as a spotter on the ice among the seals. He is presently conducting a search for fresh Newfoundland sources of oil in Alberta.

Let the Fish See YOU As a visiting tourist, you will be expected to do your bit to keep Newfoundland attractive to other prospective visitors. There are many boat-tours available around the seashores, and you are encouraged to take as many of these tours as possible. The fish, which we are not allowed to catch, like to ogle tourists, and unless you get close enough to be ogled, they may decide to go somewhere else.

But Don't Try to Catch Any! A state-of-the-art Department of Fisheries and Oceans enforcement vessel streaks across the water in response to a report that a nine year old boy is fishing from a wharf. These dedicated people are much appreciated by Newfoundlanders as one of the best sources from which to purchase fresh cod.

What's a Sculpin? You Don't Wanna Know... During your visit, we suggest that you take advantage of the world renowned fresh seafood available throughout the island. Although much of the fresh cod is actually a bycatch caught by foreign sculpin draggers, under contract to Canadian fish processors, you will find that sculpin is available at restaurants everywhere. Note that the local names for sculpin are "halibut", "haddock", and "cod".

King of the Road A huge variety of wildlife lives on the island. If you should encounter a moose with your car, you might edit that statement to read 'An assortment of huge wildlife inhabits the island." Signs depicting moose are placed along particularly dangerous parts of the roadways. It seems that these signs are made as lifelike as possible, in order to intimidate drivers into slowing down. This may have helped some, but it appears likely that just as many drivers have driven into real moose under the impression that they were merely about to knock down another sign. Motorists do have a chance to avenge themselves during moose-hunting season. Many of these signs, sporting the appropriate fatal wounds, are thought to be mounted on the walls of avid Newfoundland hunters. There exists a school of thought which says that real moose have learned to avoid being shot, by pretending to be signs. This puts an unwary motorist at an unfair advantage as, by the time he realises his error, the moose is close enough to leap out upon him.

Enjoying the Local Cuisine During your visit, you will no doubt encounter a few of Newfoundland's unique foods. For example, each year many thousands of "cold plates" are consumed containing island turkey. In other places, this is erroneously called a Greater Black-Backed Gull, but when its consumption is preceded by copious draughts of Screech, (Nfld's favourite soft drink) it becomes obvious that this is really turkey of the finest kind.

Birdwatching Birdwatchers should keep a look out for the Newfoundland Screech Owl. This bird, of which Newfoundland is the sole habitat, is easily recognised because of its rather strange habits. It is not known whether the beverage received its name from the bird or vice versa.

Taking the Pledge Another unusual creature, found only around our shores, is the Great Green Man-Eating Haddock. As you can see from the illustration, this is not to be taken lightly. If you should sight one of these, screw the cap tightly back on your Screech, take two aspirin, and go to bed early. By morning, the GGMEH will be gone.

Humour These People Please observe the Newfoundland fishing regulations as posted by DFO. They have spent many years in serious trial and error schemes to come up with these rules. Here is one of their signs which indicates the type of careful consideration we receive at their hands. .

Travel Hints During your eastbound drive across the island, you will be meeting many vehicles similar to the one shown in the illustration. They will all be proceeding at a high rate of speed in the opposite direction to the one in which you are travelling, usually two or three abreast. The intended destination for most of these vehicles is Fort McMurray, which appears to have a climate which is irresistible to Newfoundlanders. When leaving the island, westbound, you may be delayed for a few days until room is found for you on the ferry. However, if you are towing a U-Haul trailer, you may be given priority over other tourists.

Bar Accessories In Newfoundland, ice-cubes are a natural resource and freezers are seasonal appliances. Here's my personal ice-cube, as seen through my living room window. The puddle surrounding it is a result of our recent warm weather ... this ice cube was originally much larger. The arrangement keeps my wife in top-notch shape, as one of her chores is to row out, chase away the seals, and chip the ice for my medicinal Screech.

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Glossary, In Alphabetical Order (Starting & Ending with "S")

Practical Information.
If you need more specific information on travelling in Newfoundland and Labrador, try using this comprehensive Newfoundland Directory website as your starting point. It gives far more useful information on accommodations and tourist attractions than the official Nfld&Lab Government pages, which are a couple of years out of date at the moment.  

 

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Last updated 27-May-98 -- John Jenkins Sr.