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 Aunt Gertrude |
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Aunt Gertrude |
 | Chapter 7 in the original version of What Happened At Midnight was entitled "Aunt Gertrude." And, true to its title, the chapter was all about Aunt Gertrude. Here is an excerpt: |
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On the morning of the third day after Joe's disappearance, the telephone rang. Frank answered. A familiar voice barked in his ear. "That you, Frank? How are you? Why did you take so long to answer the phone? How's your mother? What's this I hear about Joe disappearing? Everybody's talking about it! Stuff and nonsense! Utter rubbish! Who would kidnap that young scoundrel? They'd have too much trouble on their hands if they had to look after him. Well--why don't you say something? Here I've been asking you a lot of questions and you haven't manners enough to give me a civil answer. What's the matter with you? Are you deaf?" "Aunt Gertrude!" gasped Frank. She ploughed on. "Who did you think it was? Santa Claus?" "Where are you, Aunty?" "At the station, of couse. I've just stepped off the train, so naturally I'm at the station. Where did you think I'd be? At the City Hal? You'd better come down and get me. I'm certainly not going to walk, and I always get on the wrong street car and end up in the cemetery or the waterworks, and I won't step into a taxi, for the drivers are either blind or crazy, so you'll have to come for me. Mind that you drive carefull. Hurry up, now! I see a strange-looking man eyeing my suitcase and I'm afraid he's going to steal it, so I'll ring off. Goodbye." Frank gazed helplessly at the telephone and marvelled that the instrument had borne up under the torrent of conversation. So Aunt Gertrude was in the city! "Oh! Oh!" he breathed. Aunt Gertrude was one of the pepperiest and most dictatorial old women who ever visited a quiet household. She was a rawboned female of sixty-five, tall and commanding, with a determined jaw, an acid tongue and an eye that could quell a traffic cop. She was as authoritative as a prison guard, bossed everything and everybody within reached, and had a lofty contempt for men in general and boys in particular. When she visited the Hardy home, her two nephews suddenly became paragons of good behaviour, for woe betide the luckless lad who fell into her bad graces! Underneath this rough and formidable exterior was a very kindly heart, and the boys had long since learned that Aunt Gertrude's bark was worse than her bite. Strangers either fled from the bossy old lady in terror or hastened to do her bidding in fear and trembling, but the Hardy boys knew by now that her constant stream of violent chatter was not quite as terrible as it seemed. However, there was Aunt Gertrude waiting at the station and Frank knew he had better step lively if he did not want to hear some plain facts later on. He dashed for the bathroom, washed his face and hands, brushed his hair, then scrambled into his bedroom and put on his best necktie. Aunt Gertrude was a stickler for neatness in others, although her own appearance could be charitable described as eccentric. Joe always said she looked as though her clothes had been chosen by a colour-blind saleslady and put on her by a cross-eyed maid with only one arm. He dashed down the stairs and met his mother in the hall. "Aunt Gertrude is in town!" "My goodness!" wailed Mrs. Hardy. "And the guest room isn't tidy. Why didn't she let me know she was coming?" "She never does." It was one of Aunt Gertrude's little whims to drop in unexpectedly on her friends and relatives, without a word of warning. She always said she did this so that no one would make a fuss over her or make undue preparations; yet if she stepped into an untidy house, the hostess would always hear about it. Mrs. Hardy was already half-way upstairs to put the guest room in order. "Don't hurry back with her," she said to Frank. "Give me time to tidy up the house." Frank hastened out to the garage and scrambled into the handsome but unreliable old roadster. It was a car that looked as Chet MOrton said, "like a million dollars but drowe like thirty cents." On this occasion, however, it seemed that even the roadster realized that Aunt Gertrude was being kept waition and that her wrath would be fearful to contemplate if there was any delay. The engine responded without the usual obstinacy, and in a few minutes Frank was heading toward the depot with the old car wheezing laboriously along at a frantic speed of fifteen miles an hour. He found his aunt standing guard over her suitcase, armed with an umbrella and glaring belligerently about her as though she was prepared to defend her belongings at cost of life and limb, should any ill-advised thief attempt to rob her. She gazed critically at the car, then at Frank. "How are you, Aunt Gertrude?" he said politely, taking off his cap. "I'm very glad to see you." "You look it!" she snapped. "Where did you get the car? What a dangerous looking contraption! It's a wonder you haven't broken your neck in it. Looks as if if wouldn't go less than eighty miles an hour. You're too young to have a car, anyway." She turned her attentions from the car to her nephew. "You've grown. But you haven't grown any fatter. What's wrong? Don't you eat enough? Or are you smoking cigarettes? If ever I catch you smoking a cigarette, young man, I'll whale you within an inch of your life. Here take my suitcase. Don't stand there gaping. Tell me all the news. I've had a dreadful journey. The coach was so dusty I could hardly breathe and there was a baby across the aisle. It yelled and howled all the way. A man ate peanuts and oranges. I'm going to write to the railroad company about it. Babies shouldn't be allowed on trains. And people who eat peanuts and oranges in the day coach ought to be sent to the penitentiary. It's an outrage!" Thus complaining, the worthy lady allowed herself to be assisted into the roadster, but in so doing accidentally pressed her hand upon the horn. It gave a terrific squawk. Aunt Gertrude olst her balance and topppled back on the seat, her hat awry. A meek little man who happened to be passing in front of the car at the moment leaped two feet in the air and reached the curb at one jump. "Why don't you put that horn where people will see it?" demanded Aunt Gertrude, when she had recovered her breath. "My goodness! Are you trying to give me heart failure? You know my nerves aren't very strong. Why don't you get a quieter horn? That poor man thought it was run over. I thought somebody had thrown a bomb at me. Of all the idiotic, senseless boys, Frank Hardy, you are certainly the worst. I might have expected it. I believe you did it on purpose." "I'm very sorry, Aunty," said Frank, meekly. "You stumbled against it---" "Stumble! Me stumble! I did not stumble. The horn was deliberately in my way. How did I know it was there? I've got a good mind to walk." Aunt Gertrude settled herself more comfortably in the seat and began fanning herself with a newspaper. The ride back to the Hardy home was a nightmare. When Aunt Gertrued - who seemed to be in a more critical mood than usual - was not complaining about the horn, she was giving vent to occasional shrieks of alarm when she feared Frank was about to collide with some other vehicle. "Look! Look! Be careful, Frank! Look where you're going! Don't you see that truck coming right at you? Good grief! It's going to hit us. Stop the car! Oh, what a narrow escape. He just saw you in time. Why didn't you do something? We might have been killed. Look OUT! There's a street car. Are you clean crazy? Don't drive on the tracks! Are you sure we're on the right street? This isn't the way we went the last time I was in Bayport. I really believe you don't know your was about your own town." To all this tirade Frank merely replied, "Yes, Aunt Gertrude," or "I'll try to do better, Aunt Gertrude," very meekly, and kept his eyes glued on the road while he tried to keep his mind on his driving. "How long are yo going to stay with us, Aunt Gertrude?" he ventured during a momentary lull. His aunt looked at him suspiciously. "Anxious to gett rid of me already, are you?" "Oh, no!" Frank assured her hastily. "I was hoping you had come for a long visit." "I'll be here for a month," snapped the good lady, not at all reassured. "That's great!" sighed Frank. "I think it's about time I came here for another visit. If I had been here, I'll warrant Joe wouldn't have run away. No! Don't say anything!" she commanded, as Frank made a mild objection. "Don't tell me he didn't run away. I know boys. I know 'em well. Young rascals, all of 'em. Alway giving trouble and worry to their fathers and mothers and aunts." "But he didn't run away---" "He did! And he'll get back home in a hurry if I have anything to say about it. You needn't explain now. Wait until we get to the house. I want to hear all the facts and then I'll make up my mind just what to do." Aunt Gertrude's magnificent confidence gave the impression that if she sat down and thought about the matter for a few minutes, she would be able to march out of the house, find Joe directly, and bring him home by the scruff of the neck. The car drew up before the Hardy home. Aunt Gertrude sighed. "Always trouble and fuss wherever I go. I wish I could come somewhere for a visit without finding some mix-up that I have to straighten out. Well, here we are! Take my suitcase, and mind you don't drop it!" "I won't drop it," said Frank. He felt that he faced a very long month. |