Conan the Barbarian (for the Nintendo Entertainment System)

In 1990, Conan the Barbarian slashed his way onto the Nintendo Entertainment System, which was THE premier video game system at the time. It was (and still is) pretty common for companies to make a game based on a hit movie or a popular series in hopes of using the well-known name to rake in some cash. Some of these games actually ended up to be good, while others stunk horribly. I regret to say that Mindscape's "Conan the Barbarian" game falls directly into the latter category. Now, I fancy myself to be a NES game collector of sorts as well as a huge Conan fan, so I was quite excited to hear that Conan was coming onto the NES. Let's just say that this game did not live up to my expectations. If my expectations were an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10, then this game would rank at -43. Still, it's good to play for a laugh, if you need something to make fun of ;-).

The action is your basic "punch, kick, slash & shoot" style with that barbarian flair.

Your main adversaries are an undead skeleton and a mean little flying green guy.

A few good, sturdy kicks to the groin will bring down your enemies.

You can also get a sword, but it sucks worse than your kick.

Check out the funky hanging dude.

You have to be careful not to fall into the fire or you can kiss your ass goodbye.

This is the menu screen where you can choose items. If you turn your head sideways, the pommel of the sword looks like an alien's head.

If you get the green flower thingee, your energy bar goes up.

This punk is a major badass.

Whoops! Got too close to him.. now my ass is grass.

This game sucks, and everybody knows it!

Undead skeletons? Little green demons? A giant fire-breathing dog? If you're looking for a cool video game based on the work of Robert Howard, then steer clear of this monstrousity. The only thing that sucks worse than this game is a bucktoothed Nemedian hag.. and that's saying something!