'Dear Conan' Question #1

"I am a Viking who was forced to cut off his Viking locks in order to join the Marine Corps. I no longer feel as Viking-like without my very long hair. What can a present day killer such as myself do to maintain my Viking Feel?" - FEANTURI1


Conan Responds!


"Ah.. FEANTURI, I feel your pain. Any true warrior takes pride in his long, flowing hair. You were a fool to let them cut it. It would take a lot more than a Marine Corps to cut my hair off, by Crom! My advice for you is to find a Viking helmet of some kind, preferably horned (like the one I'm wearing), to wear atop your butchered scalp. The helmet will make you more manly and will hide your lack of hair. If anyone makes fun of you for wearing such a helmet, smash their face in with your bare fists!"








"Go Back to Dear Conan"